I’m so excited to take a step forward into a new chapter in my life once the wedding is over. I’m taking this wedding as, not only an end of the old me, but also a brand-new beginning that is bigger and brighter than ever.
People’s true colors have emerged as my fiancé and I prepare for our wedding, but I’m not mad anymore. In fact, I’m thankful. I’ve removed myself from social media and have avoided the majority of people who bring me down. I’m shocked by how much happier I am. I’m spending more time with my fiancé and my fur baby, I’m reading, and I’ve taken up a whole new lifestyle.
Eating healthier, working out daily, spending more time with nature, and connecting with my deeper self has been enlightening. I truly can’t wait until I can devote more of my time to this new chapter of my life and engage fully in my new routine.
I also plan to draw and write more. I’ve realized I haven’t had much motivation to do so, but I’ve also had quite a bit on my plate. It’s been an interesting wedding planning journey for me. In fact, my own therapist suggested my fiancé and I shouldn’t show up to our own wedding due to how people have treated us. Despite it being the “Wedding from Hell” (Hey, maybe I have a whole new book idea!) I would never not show up. I have worked too hard on this wedding to simply dip out.
However, her comment finally got me thinking positively about the wedding. I was depressed and miserable from the comments and hate I was receiving from people, as well as the fact that everything that could go wrong has. I needed the encouragement to take a stand and do something positive with these negative situations. As I mentioned above, the wedding will mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Goodbye Baby Victoria!
On top of these changes, I will also have more time to work on my dilators and physical therapy exercises to benefit my vaginismus. I’m sure the endless stress has not been helpful towards the condition either. We also hope to find a doctor, who can perform the Botox procedure on me, after our financial situation smooths out. Weddings are expensive after all.
A few words of encouragement for those who are going through a difficult time: Don’t let the haters bring you down. Instead of accepting defeat, stand firm and stand tall just like the warrior you are. Kill them with kindness.
You are worth happiness. You deserve happiness. All of those who try to tell you that you aren’t good enough, that you are worthless, that you aren’t pretty enough or even smart enough are dealing with their own shit. It’s not about you. It’s all about them. ❤