My Little Journal of Thoughts

So I feel like I've fallen down a hole and just decided to live there for the past 6 months. I haven't been on here since November 2021 and the hiatus has been...uh.. interesting. The problem with a hiatus is that you have had so many things happen during that time that you completely forget …

Autumn Rain

Today, I felt more inspired to write. Sitting by my porch with the door open, listening to the autumn rain, undoubtedly turns ones hectic mind into a relaxed state. My mind has not been relaxed in a very long time. Yesterday, was a very bad day for me in terms of my depression, and I …

Do Affirmations Really Work?

So our air conditioner decided to die yesterday morning, after weeks of telling the apartment complex something seemed wrong with it. It's unfortunate that outside, in 90 degree weather with high humidity, is cooler than being in your own apartment. The apartment complex did give us a fan, which we put in the bedroom and …

Things “To Do” and “Not To Do” When You’re Spiraling

My phone has been giving me a hard time lately, so I haven't been able to get on here to write. It wasn't allowing me to access apps or even call and text people. I've gotten it fixed but I do need to get an upgrade. Aside from that, I've also just been playing Sims …

Music, Memory and Emotion

Music has always been that one thing that carries me through tough times. For as long as I can remember, music comforted me in ways that no person I knew could. I still remember each and every song I listened to during the times where I was really struggling. Even now, if I go back …

Deleting Facebook

When I say I "deleted Facebook," I really meant that I deleted the app from my phone and never go on it. It's been one of the best decisions I've made. Honestly, Facebook has always been the worst social media for my anxiety, depression and self-esteem. So, back in 2019, I turned off all notifications …

FemFusion Fitness

Over the weekend, my mom showed me this really interesting program that she bought and is currently using. She said she has had great results so far and showed me a few of the videos that you receive when you purchase the program. It looks very promising for many women...and men! This is not really …

How Depression has effected Vaginismus for me

I’ve noticed that I’ve had to put working on vaginismus on hold for quite some time because I needed to manage my depression. My therapist and psychiatrist said that, “Since your depression is fatal, we need to focus all of our attention on that first.” So, that’s what I’ve been doing. Unfortunately, the outcome of …

Vaginismus and Depression

These past few weeks have not been the best for my depression. The episodes I'll have are so severe that I sometimes can't control my own actions or even what I say. Much of this has to do with vaginismus. The feelings of sadness, worthlessness, guilt, anger, frustration and disappointment come to my mind straight …

Writer’s Block: Advice?

Have any of you ever tried to write a fictional novel based on events that have actually happened to you? Did you find it terribly difficult? If so, why was it difficult for you? I'm struggling for many reasons. It's sometimes difficult to remember everything and, when I do, the memories make me sad.Despite changing …