Starting over again

Raise your hand if you believe that “starting all over again” gives you a negative feeling? Why do you think that is?

Sure, starting back at the beginning can be burdensome, but it’s not a bad thing. Sometimes, you just need a little more time, motivation and help.

It took me years to figure this out. Many people view “starting over” as not making progress or regressing. They believe that they are not good enough because they have to try again. Wouldn’t you rather do it right than be the first one at the finish line?

I went to my Gynecologist today and she told me that we are going to start at the beginning and really fix my vaginismus. She is going to get in touch with a sex therapist if she can find one, I’m going to find a brand new PT and my homework is to perform stretches, exercises and simply insert a pinky digit into my lady parts. Simple and basic. Exactly what I did when I was first diagnosed, minus the sex therapist.

Now, had you told me I would have to start from square one months ago, I would have said “No way. Are you kidding me? Starting from scratch? Again!?” But, ladies, hear me out. If you take a break from vaginismus, your muscles are probably going to need to be retrained all over again, since the issue was never fixed in the first place. Or if you are simply ignoring the problem, then what are you honestly accomplishing?

It’s not a race. It’s not a competition. Everyone, who has painful intercourse, has one goal: to achieve pain free sex. So, we are all walking in the same direction. We may be taking different paths but the destination is the same, and it honestly doesn’t matter how you made it there at the end of the day.

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