Dream Board

Have any of you made a “Dream Board” before? I’ve been toying with the idea recently for two reasons:

  1. I can stimulate my mind with some creativity in crafting
  2. I can plant my dreams on this board, hopefully manifesting some positivity into my life

I’m slowly being weaned off Zoloft and have been placed on Wellbutrin with my consistent taking of Klonopin and, honestly, aside from a VERY rough few weeks, I have been doing really well. I had a huge hurdle that I needed to get passed in the beginning of being weaned off the Zoloft and, boy, was there a point where I didn’t think I would make it. I had literally planned my suicide. Time, place, day, how I would do it, etc. I even made my “goodbye” video and everything. Looking back, it was an extremely terrifying time. Luckily, I made it out of that funk that was purely due to the decrease in dosage of my antidepressants and now I’m feeling pretty good!

Despite all of that, I wanted to say something positive to all of you. One, it never hurts to have dreams, and exuding those dreams out into the world through my dream board will hopefully bring them to life. I may not be fit like I once was. I may not be able to fit into my dream wedding dress like I had planned. I may have to buy a whole new wedding dress even. I may not be able to get Botox this year. I may only have $300 to my name. I may not be able to have sex. I may not be able to eat healthy all the time and workout at the gym every day, but you know what? I’m feeling happier. I workout at home. I am eating as healthy as I can, but still enjoy a few treats every once and awhile. And, you know what, who cares if I have to get a whole new dress or don’t look in perfect shape for my wedding? I mean it’s one day and shouldn’t be about superficial memories like that. However, on the glass half full side of things, I can still try to achieve a healthy and toned body AFTER the wedding and be one of those women who look bangin’ even when I’m 50!

On top of everything else, I do want to mention one crucial thing that has recently happened in my life for the better. Recently, I met with my ex and had a good heart to heart with him. There is no ill will between us, I do love him and always will, and I wish him the best in his life. For those of you who have no idea who my ex is, he is the one from my college years who was not the kindest to me during our time together. He sincerely apologized, and I honestly want to see him flourish and no longer hold any guilt for what he did. I forgive him and I care about him. So, I won’t be posting anymore blogs about past emotionally abusive relationships or anything like that. It’s water over the bridge now. I feel so much lighter and in full closure now that we had a grown-up discussion together. It’s crazy that it had been 3 years since we last saw each other and that we used to spend literally every single day together for five whole years. We had something special, but we took different roads in our relationship that made it impossible to continue moving forward together. I will still make romantic poetry or poetry about heartbreak because, honestly, it brightens my heart and soul. Poetry lets out those hard to explain emotions, yet still can be relatable to others in many different ways.

Anyways, I wanted to give you a heads up that my life has been taking weird twists and turns but that’s alright. I’m fine with where I am and I’m continuing to work on me. I will certainly post whenever I can or if anything exciting happens that I feel like sharing. I hope all of you are doing amazing!

9 thoughts on “Dream Board

  1. Life is too short to begin with! 😔 Taking a life before it’s time, makes the world tilt before it’s time. 🌎 I have to say bravo to you for having the courage to go on. 👏 Life is not easy! Life overcomes you! Life does a lot of crazy stuff! BUT taking your life it not one of them. 😔 😊 Smile young lady! Smiling makes the world wonder what YOU ☺ are up to!!!! Take it from this old gal there are many, many wonders to see. 🏄‍♀️ Have you ever watched a flower open? 🌺 💐 All I have to say is WOW! When it opens. Let me know when you have watched a flower open! 🌼 🔍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I warned myself off antidepressants a couple years ago, too. It wasn’t easy, I went through some of what you mentioned. But since being off them, I have had better mood stability than I do for the 20 years prior: no major episodes, nothing even close to the many manias I used to have.

    Liked by 1 person

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