Trying to get sexual confidence back?

One question that I do get asked by other women, who struggle with vaginismus, is “How do you feel sexy?”

Great question! The truth and harsh reality is, I rarely do.

However, there are many ways that you can try to “bring sexy back,” as Justin Timberlake would say.

A few suggestions that I can give are:

  • A boudoir session: This gave me so much confidence, even if it was just for the one day. However, once you have the pictures (yep, still waiting on mine…), you have something to look back on and remind yourself that you truly are beautiful.
  • Looking at yourself in the mirror for 10 minutes: I know this sounds cheesy, but I promise you it does help. In a book that my therapist gave me, it suggested that you look in the mirror naked for 10 minutes. I thought this was absurd, but I reluctantly tried it anyways. I hate looking at my body and, when I do, I constantly point out my flaws. However, in about 5 minutes of staring and feeling ridiculous, my mindset began to change. I realized that I wasn’t focusing so much on the negative as I was on the positive. The 10 minutes went by rather quickly after that point and I had truly begun to enjoy myself and appreciate me. My confidence was rejuvenated.
  • Buy something sexy for yourself! This can really be anything that makes you feel good about yourself. For me, it would probably be cute lingerie or some Victoria’s Secret panties. Men have no idea how, or why, cute panties make us feel sexy, but they do!
  • Read a romance novel: This is something that my sister got me into back in college. I was afraid that I would simply become jealous and depressed because of the love stories and sexual encounters. However, I soon realized that it became more of a fantasy for me. It was refreshing to read something like this for a change, especially because I had been reading tons and tons of history textbooks πŸ˜›
  • Tell yourself you are beautiful: This is probably the most important one for getting back that sexual confidence. Always compliment yourself. This is a tough one for me but, despite that, I try to power through it. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and sexy daily, because you are.

What are some ways that help you to feel sexy? I’m sure many of the women, who have vaginismus, would love to hear your advice!

Featured image credit: DanniePhoto

6 thoughts on “Trying to get sexual confidence back?

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