Vaginismus is a difficult pill to swallow when you are first diagnosed with it. So for today, I’d like to post a variety of funny stories relating to my dilators. I’m not sure if anyone else does this, but I try so hard to make sure that no one ever sees my dilators. Whenever I have to bring the box out of the doctors office or with me to PT, I will hold them so close and hide their name on the side of the box. Unfortunately, there are just some times in life that you can’t anticipate or plan for. Some days, you will be caught using them or having them in your possession, and the first thing people’s minds always go to are: dildos.
I have been caught using the dilators multiple times. You’d think I’d have learned…
The majority of those instances occurred in college because you can’t always anticipate your roommates every move. I mean I would definitely try! I would always ask my roommates when they planned to be back to the room if I knew I was going to be using the dilators.
Unfortunately, sometimes they would come back early, and occasionally they wouldn’t be alone.
During my sophomore year, I had my roommate and her friends walk in on me inserting the dilators. This was already awkward as fuck because we hadn’t been roommates for too long, but add in two other random individuals and it was just as embarrassing as standing completely naked on a stage (maybe even more).
Naturally, they initially thought I was masturbating and laughed. I mean, I guess I couldn’t blame them for thinking that. However, I ended up showing them the box and a few books on vaginismus and they took it a bit more seriously.
They were still extremely confused, but at least they didn’t think I was just playing with myself in the room.
During my junior year, I was roommates with a senior. Her boyfriend and her walked in on me taking out my dilators (and, no, I don’t mean out of the box) and I stumbled so quickly to put them away that it was ridiculously obvious.
She laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal…again, she thought I was masturbating…but I showed her the dilators and books and she was very sympathetic. Also, I had walked in on her and her boyfriend having sex, so I think we were even 🙂
Lastly for the college stories was when I was a senior. My roommate came back into the room early and I quickly tried to hide the dilators from her. At this point, my embarrassment level was WAY down. I mean, after having so many instances of people walking in on me using the dilators, you kind of have to grow a bit of a tough skin.
She and I laughed so hard about it because at that point we couldn’t give a fuck. We’d heard and seen pretty much everything from each other at that point. Plus, she was my first girl kiss so who really cared at that point.
Now one extremely awkward situation that I have to throw in there was being walked in on by my dad. The awkwardness and embarrassment was beyond mortifying.
After that, we didn’t really speak much to each other for a few weeks…I’m also pretty sure we avoided each other in the hallways and kitchen.
Fast forward to when I was dating. At this point, I was also living on my own, going to physical therapy, working two jobs, had an internship and was getting my Masters at Johns Hopkins. So, naturally, my mind was pretty preoccupied and I would sometimes forget things…like my dilators and lube being out on display for the world to see.
One night I had a date over. He asked if he could use the restroom and, naturally, I didn’t process that my box of dilators were out on the cabinet. He came out of the bathroom with the box and laughingly said, “What are these?”
Keep in mind, I hadn’t told him about my vaginismus yet, so this was the precursor before he left running.
Before that conversation though, he literally thought they were just two sets of serious dildos that I had lying on my bathroom cabinet top.
Let’s see…my parents came to visit me one weekend and I forgot to put away my countless bottles of lube that I use for the dilators. Once I realized they were sitting out, it was a bit too late. I casually tried to push them away as we engaged in conversation and pretend they didn’t exist. But I’m like 99.9% sure they saw them.
I think one of the worst moments, aside from having my roommates walk in on me, was having customs stop me and open up my box of dilators in front of everyone. I had to bring them with me overseas and, with my luck, the beeper went off when my bag went through. They had to open up the box in front of everyone and, the lady who opened them, literally thought I was just bringing a box of dildos with me on vacation. I wish, random lady. I wish…
Fast forward to today!
Where I live now, there are many Amish individuals. One day, I was in the waiting room for PT and an Amish family sat across from me. I always try to hide the label on my boxes, but I honestly didn’t even realize I had the box of dilators pointed so that you could see the image and read the word “vaginal dilators.”
Of course, the mom saw and gave me the weirdest look. I looked down immediately and turned the box around to hide the words. However, she still decided to move all 5 of her little kids and herself quickly away from me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a group scuttle away quite so fast.
Welp, that’s it! Those are my funny and embarrassing stories about my dilators.
I hope you enjoyed and, as Mila Kunis puts it so eloquently…
Comment some of your embarrassing stories below, vaginismus related or not, and we can revel in the embarrassment together 🙂
Girl with the Paw Print Tattoo 