How to Use Dilators Correctly

Dilators: Those annoying, yet helpful, phallic-looking plastic, silicone or glass instruments used to help stretch the PC muscles ❤️

Pediatric sizes
Vaginal sizes

Many women are given dilators without any instruction on how to use them. Of course, these cylindrical tools can be extremely helpful if used correctly. Physical Therapists will show you how to properly use them, but many women can’t afford a PT. So, for those of you who don’t have the money or time to see a PT multiple times a week, I’m going to explain and, hopefully non-suggestively, illustrate how to use the dilators correctly.

The Basics

Dilators come in various shapes and sizes. Start with the pediatric sizes first. Begin by laying on your back on a comfortable and flat surface (preferably the bed), with a pillow or foam cushion underneath your lower legs.

Image result for free photos laying in bed with legs elevated

When you are ready to use the dilator, soak that baby with so much lube that you are afraid it will slip right out of your hands. Elevate your legs so that your knees are level with your eyes.

Image result for free photos laying in bed with raised knees

Then, with the smallest dilator that you have, insert it gently. Do not force it if it won’t go in. Even if you can only get it in halfway, or less than halfway, keep it there until you can easily push it in further.

Once the dilator is in, what do I do now?

After you have put the dilator in, no matter what size you are on at this point, set your legs down and place them on top of the pillow or foam wedge. This slight elevation should relieve any tension in your PC muscles. Stay like this for 10-15 minutes.

Image result for free photos laying in bed with legs elevated

Do you feel comfortable?

If so, try some internal stretching methods with the dilator. Stretch the muscles by slowly pushing the dilator to the left and holding for 30 seconds – 1 minute. Slowly push the dilator to the right and hold for 30 seconds – 1 minute. Slowly push the dilator up and hold for 30 seconds – 1 minute. Slowly push the dilator down and hold for 30 seconds – 1 minute. Once you feel ready, try slowly making a circular motion with the dilator. Do this clockwise and then counterclockwise. You can even try stretching the muscles by holding the dilator at various angles. Repeat as many times as you like. These internal stretches should be done every time to ensure that you are stretching your muscles to their fullest capacity. Over time, you will restore elasticity to the tissues.

How do I know when I’m ready to move up to the next size?

Whenever you use the dilators, make sure you begin with one size down from the one you are currently working on. Once that feels pain free, insert the size you are actually on. If you can perform these internal stretches during multiple dilator sessions and not feel pain, then you are ready to advance to the next size up.

What if I’m not advancing?

You will be advancing, but you might be advancing at a slower pace than you would like. Everyone advances at a different pace, and that is okay! No person is the same because no person has the exact same physical or psychological triggers or experiences. Simply keep up with your stretches and work on healing your mind. It’s just as important, if not more, than healing your body.

Is there anything else that I should be doing to make using the dilators easier?

Why yes, I’m glad you asked! 😉 You can always perform external massages on your PC muscles. Gently massage your labia majora, labiocrural folds (between your labia majora and inner thigh) and mons pubis. You can do this multiple ways, but three that work really well for me are:

  1. Massaging in a circular motion
  2. Stretching the muscles with your fingertips by starting inwards and working your way towards your inner thigh. Even massaging around your inner thigh is beneficial
  3. Massage the muscles close to your anus. I know that sounds strange, but everything is interconnected. Those muscles need love too.

Also, be sure to use breathing exercises and other physical therapy stretches to help stretch and relax your muscles before and after using the dilators. These can be found in my book, Living with Vaginismus.

Clean your dilators thoroughly

You do not want a UTI or Yeast Infection, so clean your dilators thoroughly before and after every use. Pat them dry and lay them out on a towel to continue drying. Then, put them into individual plastic bags and place them back in their designated location.


Please comment below, or email me privately, if you have any questions!