With everything going on in the world right now, it feels weird to write a blog about myself. I truly hope all of you are healthy and not struggling financially, like so many are. It’s a crazy time we are living in right now.
On Tuesday, I had my surgery consultation with my new gynecologist/surgeon. This was the first time I ever had a male gynecologist, but he was really chill and extremely helpful. More helpful than any other gynecologist I’ve had before him.
This time around, I went in with my husband, because we planned to discuss the Botox procedure and check for endometriosis at this appointment. For the first time ever, my husband got to see what going to the gynecologist is really like for me.
It was great to have him understand the anxiety I face while I’m sitting in the waiting room or doctor’s office. I warned him that I always cry before the doctor comes in because I anticipate the pain. I told him I just simply can’t help it. I try not to cry, but the tears always flow pretty heavily.
After the assistant finished taking my blood pressure and asking me questions, she left the room and it was just my husband and I. Just like I told him, as soon as he tried to talk to me, the tears came and I couldn’t control them. He kept saying, “It’s okay,” and I kept saying, “It really isn’t.”
My whole body began to shake and I noticed my hands were shaking when I lifted one hand up to put my hair behind my ear. I composed myself before the doctor came in, like I always do, and the rest of the appointment/consultation was very informative.
He asked me why the other gynecologist thought I had endometriosis, asked a few more questions, explained what endo is and how my lab results & symptoms show signs that I do have it. He also gave me the option if I wanted to have an exam today because he could tell that I was really nervous. I told him I wanted to do it because I really want to find out what steps I need to take next.
Moving forward, he just used his finger to examine me internally. He had me take breaths every so often and pushed on certain areas asking if I felt burning or pain. When I said yes, he asked me to take another breath and then asked if the burning or pain went away. Surprisingly, it did.
He found it incredibly intriguing that he could literally feel my muscles clench up and then release the longer he was examining me. He asked if I could feel this on an every day basis and I said, “Yes, it’s the first part of me to tense when I’m stressed.” For him, this was really cool LOL
At this point, he said he could now examine the cervix and ovaries because he was far enough in. As soon as he did that, the pain was excruciating and I contorted a bit and had tears well up in my eyes. I put my hands up to my face and just kept saying, “Ow, ow, ow.” That’s literally the most I remember.
He pressed internally and also on my lower abdomen and that hurt very badly.
“Yep, that’s endometriosis.”
He completed the internal examination and said he was really impressed by how well I handled the exam. It was also nice to have my husband there to see what the examinations are like for me.
The doctor then explained that endometriosis can cause vaginismus, but so can environmental triggers. He said he wasn’t going to ask about any trauma in my life, but he did say that the endometriosis definitely isn’t helping my condition. The way he described it was that if my husband and I were having sex, and he got too far in, that excruciating pain I felt would reverberate throughout my body and cause my muscles to tighten. My body has also just now anticipated that pain, so even penetration is painful.
He suggested that we think about surgery to remove the excess tissue due to the endometriosis and see how sex is at that point. If it’s still painful, he will then perform the Botox procedure. Until then, he said to try using my husband as a dilator and gave us some interesting, but useful, sex tips LOL.
So, I’m going to be scheduling my surgery hopefully this fall and then provide an update for all of you.
If you have any questions, or want further explanation on something, let me know! He gave some useful information, but I kept this blog short, sweet and to the point as I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t had much time to blog. Hence why this has taken me 4 days to sit down and write.
Until I speak to you again, stay safe and healthy!