So I really considered doing some research and writing a flavorful blog on something new, but I just couldn’t do it.
Yesterday I had a massive panic attack out of nowhere and I’m still feeling depressed from it.
It’s been such a long time that I didn’t know what to do in that moment. I felt like the walls were closing in around me, I couldn’t breathe, my chest hurt like hell, I was feeling claustrophobic and I was overwhelmed by everything.
It wasn’t until I started hyperventilating and literally hitting myself that my husband came into the bedroom to put a super hot towel all over my body to help open up my pores and relax me. Surprisingly, it did work. I felt a bit calmer, but I’m still feeling weird today. I feel like I just want to go out and be absolutely crazy no matter what. Kind of like how things were in college.
I don’t know, maybe that’s what my unexplained panic attack was about.
Whatever, it doesn’t matter.
I always ruin Valentine’s Day and I’m not trying to be dramatic here. Both of my long term relationships have had to deal with my “special issues.” My ex would get upset that I couldn’t have sex with him on Valentine’s Day and my husband has to deal with my mental breakdowns, as well as my vaginismus. I’m such a catch, I know.
There’s my blog, or should I say my current misery.