Life Update

So I really considered doing some research and writing a flavorful blog on something new, but I just couldn’t do it.

Yesterday I had a massive panic attack out of nowhere and I’m still feeling depressed from it.

It’s been such a long time that I didn’t know what to do in that moment. I felt like the walls were closing in around me, I couldn’t breathe, my chest hurt like hell, I was feeling claustrophobic and I was overwhelmed by everything.

It wasn’t until I started hyperventilating and literally hitting myself that my husband came into the bedroom to put a super hot towel all over my body to help open up my pores and relax me. Surprisingly, it did work. I felt a bit calmer, but I’m still feeling weird today. I feel like I just want to go out and be absolutely crazy no matter what. Kind of like how things were in college.

I don’t know, maybe that’s what my unexplained panic attack was about.

Whatever, it doesn’t matter.

I always ruin Valentine’s Day and I’m not trying to be dramatic here. Both of my long term relationships have had to deal with my “special issues.” My ex would get upset that I couldn’t have sex with him on Valentine’s Day and my husband has to deal with my mental breakdowns, as well as my vaginismus. I’m such a catch, I know.

There’s my blog, or should I say my current misery.

8 thoughts on “Life Update

  1. very very well done for talking about it .. i have Panic attacts when they happen I AM VOMITING ALL OVER ..feel so very DRAINED after .people never see the every day effects .there views/judgements are
    very Snotty Nosed ..long list health issues ..m.e . migraines list goes on ,.by talking it will HELP OTHERS ,
    my blog,http;//

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much. Many have a hard time understanding what panic attacks are and how they affect a person mentally and physically. It’s incredibly draining and not often discussed because people don’t want to publicly state what goes on behind closed doors during an episode. I’ll definitely check out your blog and twitter! Thanks for the info 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. i am on Linkedin,AutismDad
    it helps too talk even more so like you then myself BOTH having panic attacts .it is TERRIBLE being
    COVERED in Sick .people stair make very bad joke is very DIFFICULT too try to build your self up
    for when the Next happens .in a way it is DEGRADING .have you had any Bullying from this
    for my self i am disabled .this makes it million times worsor any time you would like mark

    Liked by 1 person

    • I haven’t had any bullying from my panic attacks, but I definitely have for my vaginismus and in general. I was bullied from preschool until I reached college. College was the first time in my life I felt accepted. However, because of the vaginismus, many guys would bully and hurt me regarding it.


      • the guys who bullied/hurt you are a DISGRACE size of there shoe .if they was you how would THEY
        COPE .i was bullied badly as a child SOON AFTER i was then Abused ,I AM ALIVE .my story of abuse
        is in a AUTHORS BOOK .
        i am co -Author of a new book .JUST PUBLISHED this book is about .Disability and Sex
        if you would like i can send you a Link
        did these guys call you bad names how was you hurt

        Liked by 1 person

      • Congratulations on the book! You can send me the link 🙂 I’m sorry you were bullied badly and abused. No one should have to go through those things. They said things like, “You’re cursed.” and even laughed in my face. Some of them would also just try to do things to me anyways even though I couldn’t


      • Link .https;//
        i am chapter 11
        be very interested in hearing your view /what you think //link is on my blog
        please do keep in e.mail,


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