A Place to Talk

Do you ever have those days where you are feeling emotional and want to write but just can’t come up with a solid topic? Like your head is swimming with so many thoughts that you just can’t put a coherent sentence together?

Social media can be a great deal of fun or it can bring about such distress. When you already suffer from depression and hate the way you look, going on social media is probably the worst thing you can do.

Even if you are just looking at your own pictures from a year ago, before the medication caused extreme weight gain, it still feels like you are playing with emotions.

I will say that the Wellbutrin has decreased my appetite but I still need to go to the gym. I pretty much only eat an apple or banana for breakfast, a salad for lunch and veggies for dinner. Today, my fiance and I went out to eat and I feel pretty sick and also disgusting. Still, I have not lost weight. It’s a vicious cycle.

Then there is the vaginismus. This week it has really been on my mind due to a situation that occurred with the topic of our honeymoon. Tonight, my fiance wanted to get intimate and I just couldn’t. The sadness in his eyes only brought me guilt.

However, my goal is to stay positive or at least look at things with a glass half full mentality. Some days are just harder than others. So much is on my mind tonight and I just wanted to use this platform as a place to talk.

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