At first, I thought I was the only one. Like I had a special defect where I was unable to get aroused. For so many years, I have struggled with a low sex drive. After a while, I just assumed that was my personality, a characteristic of me, that I did not want to accept.
However, I have noticed that this is a very common attribute of having vaginismus. I have talked to many women and seen their posts online regarding their low sex drive. It’s crazy to finally realize you are not alone with a struggle. I now realize it’s not just me who struggles with this issue, but other couples are also dealing with it as well.
Nevertheless, all of us really want to have a sex drive back and have no idea where to begin. No matter what, we just simply can’t get aroused. It’s heartbreaking because we all want it but our bodies physically can’t do it and our minds won’t let us relax and enjoy ourselves.
This issue really does complicate matters in a relationship. However, if you are with someone, who is understanding and supportive, they will be there to help you. Keep in mind though that they are just human, who also have wants and needs. Just because you can’t get aroused doesn’t mean that they won’t.
But don’t fret! You don’t have to feel guilty that you can’t get aroused with them! Instead of stressing or getting frustrated with yourself, just try to take a deep breath and express to them verbally how much you truly care. Arousal is fleeting, but love and respect are lasting among partners.