Vaginismus is vulnerable

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brené Brown

I started this blog to find and help more women with vaginismus, but I have only come across a few, who initially reached out to me and then vanished. It’s challenging to tackle vaginismus alone; without the support of someone who can relate to your condition. I know it’s an arduous process to locate women with vaginismus, let alone get them to come forward, but some days, this feeling of loneliness just makes me disheartened.

I hate constantly writing about the sad days. I’m sure many of you probably think that I am just some miserable girl sitting alone in a dark room crying my eyes out, but that is simply not true. I am a normal girl. However, it’s days like these where I am motivated to tell my story. As I’ve said many times before, when I’m feeling down, it’s therapeutic to write.

Vaginismus is rare, and I’m positive that those women, who are out there suffering with it, are not eager to publicly announce that they are one of the few with this condition. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack, but this needle doesn’t want to be found, especially for fear of rejection from society.

Today and yesterday, I keep feeling distant and melancholy, as I only hope and wish that more women would contact me. I hope that doesn’t come across as selfish, but I would love the verbal support. Not only do I want to help more women with vaginismus, but I would also love to have a conversation with them and keep in touch with those who are going through the same thing that I am. I am eager to hear their story and to discover what they have learned, or are still learning, on their own journey. What have they tried that has or hasn’t worked? How do they cope with the bad days? How do they feel in their relationship? Do they often feel guilty or hopelessly lost? What do they and their partner do since they can’t have sex?

Just from my own personal experience, I know it’s vulnerable to come forward and admit to the world that you have this condition, but even messaging me privately would mean the world to me. I need to know that I’m not alone, and I’m certain you want to feel the same way.

Through this blog, I would also love to show them that you won’t be rejected by society for coming forward. Instead, you are helping to bring awareness to society by telling your story. You could very well be aiding future research for this condition.

If you feel like, or know, that you have vaginismus, or a similar condition, don’t hesitate to contact me. Whether it is publicly or through email, I am ready to meet more women who share this condition with me. We need a circle of support ladies, and I have already willingly opened up to let all of you know that I’m here.

“…Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” – Brené Brown


Featured image photo credit: rossandzane


12 thoughts on “Vaginismus is vulnerable

  1. Thankfully I don’t have vaginismus in general, but I get that sort of reaction to gyne exams. The last pap test I had done the doctor told me she was worried my vagina was going to break the speculum. It’s a strange feeling trying but not being able to control the vaginal wall muscles, and I start to beat myself up because I know that if I could just relax the terrible pain would stop. I can’t imagine what it would be like to experience that regularly with sex, especially when like you say it can be so hard to talk about.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t have Vaginismus, but I do have a somewhat rare health condition. One way to connect with other people, is through online support groups. On Twitter or on Reddit. I’ve found them really helpful and supportive. Don’t know if you tired any of those resources before?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can’t say I know your struggle but I love your blog. i have chronic pain, fibro, & many other diagnosis’s. I do know what it’s like to have pain during sex but it’s not an everyday problem for me, personally. I’m just saying your blog is amazing and great for even those who don’t have your condition, those with other similar issues. You don’t come off as a miserable person, just a woman bluntly honest about her condition, about her struggle, something that some can’t understand. Keep up the amazing work, lady!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awh, I am lucky to come across your blog because I constantly look for other woman who write about personal and real-life things. I’d much rather read about your story than someone’s daily make-up routine. Lol. Thank you so much for sharing this…you are so brave. I don’t know what Vaginismus is, honestly. I might have to look it up more. But I admire your eagerness to be there for other women and support them. You are leading a great role. I am sure more women will reach out to on your blog. Congrats on becoming a bride-to-be, by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

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